To the State FFA Officer Candidate Who Wasn't Selected

Dear Valued and Worthy Person,

I am writing this letter to you because I know that not everyone has the awesome support system that I did and still have. I know that there isn't much said in regards to the kids who don't get selected. How do I know this? I know this because a year ago from today, I was in your shoes and felt the pain that you do right now.

This is me and my advisor, Mr.Mottl, at the end of my eighth grade year.

I'm going to tell you a little story. Many moons ago there was a tall, awkward, string bean eighth grader named Shelby. She was the most shy kid that you would probably ever meet! In fact, the kids in her elementary school actually thought that she couldn't talk. The summer before she went into the eighth grade, Shelby finally got to move back to being on a farm! Ever since she was a kid that was what she had dreamed of doing. When she started at her new school, her Mom had suggested that she become involved with the FFA chapter, which was something that she herself had been active with in high school. Shelby decided that it would be worth a shot. She attended the first meeting and the rest was history! She started helping at concession stands, attending meetings, and during the summer of her freshman year she went to a leadership conference called NPower. At this leadership conference, she learned about what all the FFA had to offer, met a lot of new friends, and met the State FFA Officer team. After attending that conference, she decided that it was her goal to become a State FFA Officer just like them.

Freshman year started and Shelby was eager to participate in even more FFA events! In the fall she participated in land judging, dairy judging, and got to attend the National FFA Convention. The National FFA Convention just added more fuel to her fire and she went on to participate in CDE's, LDE's, and State FFA Convention in the spring. At the annual FFA banquet she was awarded for her involvement within the chapter and participation in the annual fruit sales fundraiser. She also applied to be a chapter officer and was selected to be the Reporter! Fast forward to sophomore year. Her year as a chapter officer is in full swing and to her, that was just one step closer to her goal. However, while she had the officer position and was very active within the chapter, Shelby had moments when she questioned if she was doing well enough or worthy of her goals. Sometimes she had the courage to do things, but not the confidence to know that she was doing them well.

When I was elected as the Reporter!

In the blink of an eye, it was the FFA banquet at the end of her sophomore year. Shelby has received more awards for her active involvement, selling fruit, gotten her Chapter degree, and the Star Chapter Farmer award. It was time to install the new FFA officer team for the coming year. She sat nervously and patiently. She really wanted to have the office of the President! They started picking candidates from their seats. The new Historian had been taken up. It was the Parliamentarian's turn...and it was Shelby. She was a little upset, but she tried not to let it bother her. She was just happy to be an officer! At the banquet her junior year it was the same thing, she received another degree and more awards and she wanted the office of the President, but she was elected to be the Secretary. Again, she was a little upset, but she didn't let it bother her. She still served her chapter to the best of her ability! There were still moments when she doubted herself both as a chapter officer and in her ability to reach her dreams, but these mostly passed with time!

Now it's December of senior year! Over the years she had transformed from the shy little eighth grader to someone who loves public speaking and interacting with others! Now it was time to really start preparing for the State FFA Officer interviews. She did this by looking for resources online, talking to people who had been through the process before, and doing interview training with two of the best people she'd ever met in her life! Shelby was so excited to meet with Maile and Kurt, the people she did her mock interviews with, on the first day. The first time she went and saw them they did a practice interview to start out. After the interview was done, they went through what was done good and what was bad. Shelby seemed to be a little nervous and not have confidence in her answers. Maile told Shelby that she had her permission to feel worthy, because she was worthy! After that, they did some activities to help her find out how she can tell her own story, what her strengths and weaknesses are, and how she can build up her confidence in herself. She had no idea that she would learn so much about herself and that her story is completely unique just like everyone else's.

Then it was February. Shelby had submitted her application and the preliminary interviews were coming up fast. Anticipation and nerves built up in the days leading up to them! Right before the preliminary interviews, she met with Kurt and Maile again just to be sure she was ready! Then the day that she had been waiting for came. She arrived at the conference center in her best looking official dress and started mingling with the other candidates. It was time for the first round to begin! The first round of interviews was a "speed-dating" round. Everyone on the nominating committee was sitting in a chair in a circle around the room and each candidate had three minutes to interview with each member of the nominating committee before they had to move to the next one. The rounds that led into the evening and through the next day involved an agricultural issues interview, lots of single interviews, and a group interview. In between rounds, the candidates who weren't in an interview were in a holding room where they had lots of fun playing games and getting to know each other. On the last day they even ordered an ice cream cake and had a dance party to celebrate two of the candidates birthdays!

This was taken at the National FFA Convention during my sophomore year.

The interviews were over! Now she could go to the leadership conference that followed the interviews and relax...except she couldn't relax. She was nervous and anxious to find out if she was selected to be a finalist! There were times when Shelby doubted whether she did well or said the right thing. A big snowstorm hit and that meant she couldn't get home for a couple days after the conference, so in the meantime she found ways to take her mind off of it and enjoy herself. On Monday she was able to drive home. That was the morning that the email containing the results would come in, and she decided not to open it until she got home. She got home, went downstairs to her room and felt all of the nerves and anxiety start to come as she logged into her email account. She clicked on the email and...tears of JOY!! Shelby was a finalist!! She called Kurt and Maile, her friends, and all of her family members to tell them the news! She had never been so happy!

Then came April. It was time to head down to Lincoln, NE to interview as a finalist and participate in the State FFA Convention to follow. She hung up her official dress in her car, got some encouragement and well wishes from her parents and left. She arrived the night before the interviews so she could get a good night's rest and be fully prepared the next morning. All of the finalists met at the hotel where the interviews were taking place. They were all so happy to see each other again! These interviews were similar to the preliminaries, but they were more intense and had more group interviews to see who worked well together. Just like during the preliminary interviews the candidates that weren't in an interview were in a holding room. They had some snacks, told stories, and played games with some things that a past State FFA Officer had brought by! After the interviews were over, Shelby competed at the State FFA Convention and anxiously awaited the last day when she would get her State Degree and find out if she was going to be a State FFA Officer. Leading up to that day, Shelby felt like she was on an emotional rollercoaster, but overall she felt confident in her performance and had a lot of hope!

My family all came to see me receive my State Degree!

Finally, the day came. The day that she had been praying and waiting for years to come. The day was full of waiting and anticipation. In the hour leading up to the moment when they would announce the new team, Shelby felt just about every emotion you could possibly think of. She had met with her Mom for once last good luck hug and received many messages of good luck from her advisor, her friends, and family. It was finally time. Her and the other thirteen new friends that she had made through the process met in the spot reserved for them to sit. Together they waited for the end of the session to find out who had made it. They all huddled close. Tears were shed because this was it! With tears rolling down her face, Shelby eagerly awaited for her name to be called. The first new officer was announced, the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth. "And your 2019-2020 State FFA President is..."not Shelby. Wait, WHAT?! But she had worked so hard and dreamed of this for so long! The moments that followed were kind of a blur. Her family who came to see her gave her hugs as she cried. She gave hugs to the other candidates who were just as hurt as she was. She watched the new State FFA Officers be interviewed for the first time and gave them hugs and congratulated them when they were done. She was really happy for them!

Me, my Mom, and my stepdad at the FFA banquet my senior year!

Shelby was devastated. In the time that followed, she definitely did not feel like herself and her summer felt bland and boring. "Why wasn't I picked? What did I do wrong?" she thought. For a long time she was sad, angry, and even a little jealous. She didn't understand how or why she could be brought this far just to get crushed! Sometimes she would have a flashback of that night and when she went back to the arena for a different event after that, it was hard for her to be in there without bursting into tears. There were even times when she wished none of it had even happened. But then she realized something. While it didn't take the hurt away, she realized that if it never would've happened she never would have bettered herself, learned to follow her dreams, and met all of the amazing people that she did. She never would have made the amazing new friends that she did. While the experience ended an undesirable way, there were many good times and memories that came during her interview experience and the years before that in FFA.

Time passed and the summer came to an end. Shelby packed up her things and headed to college up at Chadron State College to follow her career goal of being an Ag teacher/FFA Advisor. Entering this new chapter of her life definitely had her nervous but she surely was excited! She still thought about her State FFA Officer process frequently and it still hurt a little bit, but it wasn't nearly as much as before since she had other new and exciting things to focus her attention on. When she got there, she found clubs that sparked her interest such as Collegiate Farm Bureau and Eagles for Life. Another one of those clubs, the Newman House, really got to her. She started being a regular attendee for dinner and Bible study on Wednesday nights, used the house to do laundry, work on homework, and hang out with friends. That's where she met her best friend, April! Since they've met, they have done just about everything together and are inseparable! Through her local church she also started teaching the ninth grade Faith Formation class since it was something she always saw herself doing. Even after she moved to college she still thought about her interviewing experience for a while, but it wasn't long before she came to love life in Chadron! Today, a year later, she is still happily enrolled in college classes and typing this letter to you! :)

These are the amazing new friends I made along the way!

While the results of the State FFA Officer interviews weren't what I had hoped, I am still very glad that I went through the process and wouldn't trade the experience for anything. I learned more about who I was, what I was capable of, and met like minded people who encouraged me along the way. I was able to strengthen the friendships I had before I interviewed and turned to them when I was hurting. Reaching out to your close friends, mentors, parents, and even the people you ran for office with during this time is the best thing that you can do! I realized just how much my parents and family members loved me when they supported me through every step of the way. Now, before I go on, I know that there are people who have had way worse things happen to them. I am grateful that this was the biggest obstacle I've had to overcome and I pray for those who go through situations worse than mine. However, my best friend once told me "So maybe the stuff I'm going through is really bad, but I can't look down on others for thinking they're going through the worst thing because maybe it's not the worst thing to me, but it's the worst hardship they've ever gone through." For me, it was a long time before I wasn't hurt by not being elected as a State FFA Officer. It was my goal for almost five years! However, I'm here to tell you that with time it does get better. Before you know it, it'll just be a memory of something you did! If it takes a longer time, that's ok! If it's not that long, that's fine too! Everyone is different. Just remember that your purpose is always above your position and that this does not define your success. The reason that I referred to you as valued and worthy person is because you are valued and worthy! While being a State FFA Officer would be awesome, there is certainly much more to life than that and everything happens for a reason! Stay in touch with the people you ran with, because great connections and friendships can be built from there! In the meantime, try to find another way to serve your community that feeds your passions. Use what you learned through the interview process to do something new. You could try starting a new service project, take up a hobby you've always wanted to, try something completely new, find an job you love, join a new club, or make plans to start a new club that your college campus doesn't have! The possibilities are endless!

I know that right now, it hurts a lot. I promise you that it will get better because life goes on and life is beautiful! Just know that there's more to life than this moment in the present! Hang in there, I'll be thinking about you!

Sincerely,

Shelby